Things to Say No too

It’s easy to forget how much control we have over our lives. We get so caught up in our own circumstances within our daily routine that we can loose focus and end up complicating things without even realizing it. As a personal venting sponge to most of my friends and family, I’m able to see a common theme of where they went wrong, and what the simple solutions are to fix all their problems. There are things you have to say no too, and boundaries you have to set for yourself in order to live your best life.

Starting with…

1. The Comparing
That little fire of envy sparks almost every time we see someone else have something we don’t, and desperately want. It’s almost immediate reaction to think the grass is greener on the other side. But, that impulsive feeling ends today because you’re going to replace it with another. Practice giving someone a compliment once you get the feeling of jealously, or just simply send them blessings their way. Understand that everyone’s path is their own path! You are not in competition with anyone because your life story is written completely differently. And, from your personality to your own individual experiences, you are completely unique. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time, and holds no substance when working towards your goals and living out your best life. Trust the process and learn to love the journey.

2. The Compromising
My mother always told me you’ll never be happy with yourself if you’re compromising your core values. They define who we are and how we decide what’s right versus wrong. Sometimes

we feel we have to compromise that, usually through a job or within a personal relationship. Spend time understanding what you strongly believe in, and what you feel passionately about. In order to live your best life, you have to be satisfied that you aren’t compromising the things that make you who you are, for something or someone else.

3. The Complacency
No one should feel stuck. It’s in our nature, and abundantly healthy to continue seeking growth. Not to mention, society encourages it. There’s a common quote I’m sure you’ve seen on at least one bumper sticker, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” American culture is all about growth, thinking outside the box, and getting outside of your comfort zone. But no matter what anyone tells you to do with your time, your first priority should be feeling a sense of peace and harmony within your everyday life. Most of our lifestyles happen to fall into a routine. From going to work to staying fit, socializing, taking care of your kid, pet, plant, and this list goes on. Even when going through tough times, avoid complacency by maintaining a balanced lifestyle.

4. The Drama
Stay clear of negative people, with nothing to give but negative thoughts and emotions. But, sometimes we can’t avoid these people. It could be a family member, coworker, or a roommate. My advice is to limit the time you spend with them. Send them love and converse with them on a short term basis, but that’s all. Your time is valuable and needs to spent around positivity. Negative energy spreads and only interferes with your happiness, growth, and your overall ora you give to the world. If push comes to shove and you’re comforted by that negative person you’ve been recently making boundaries with, you can let them know in a mature fashion. You’re not being a bad person by taking care of you. If they really care about you, they will understand and only want to change for the better to be closer to you.

5. The People Pleasing

Self care isn’t just about taking care of your body. It’s not just about eating right, working out, and making sure you have on enough SPF. It’s also about how much time and energy we give out to others. Overcommitting and people pleasing is a huge problem for some of you! There is a limit to how much of you, you can use. And, for you single parents out there, or insane mothers of six, I’m talking to you too. In this upcoming year, set aside at least 30 minutes of alone time to yourself. This is possible for anyone, and almost necessary for self care and living your best life. Overcommitting ourselves only overwhelms us, and in conclusion, only stresses us out. In order to give our best selves to others, we need to be our best selves, for ourselves.

Smooth Seas

Growing a successful and steady business is not for the weak hearted. It takes perseverance, passion, and courage to make your startup bloom. Anyone going into business should expect hardships and challenges to overcome. The moments when we finally get the results you’ve been working towards are only bittersweet and well earned. Embrace the challenges you face in business because….

1. It teaches you what works, and what doesn’t

This is may be most obvious logic, but it’s funny how many people forget to remember and apply what they learned from a hardship. Any challenges we face, we must overcome. And, each time, it’s a lesson learned. Don’t repeat the same mistakes! When it comes to your business, pride must be put to the side, and we must submit to the lessons learned. If business isn’t pouring in, don’t ever assume it’s your product. Work on everything else first. Perfect the website, change up the marketing, or improve the customer service. Be open to getting feedback from your customers, and award them for their input. We must appreciate the progress because no strong foundation can be built overnight.

2. It makes you phlegmatic

When we start it from the ground up, our business is our baby! And, it can be hard to separate what’s just business, to something that’s so personal to us. After you’ve been through your share of highs and lows as a business owner, it’s easier to throw in the towel and save your passion for all the things about your business you can control. Whatever disasters come your way, you’ll be able to keep a cool head and handle the situation without getting your feelings involve. “Emotions are bad for business.” Just like drinking and driving don’t mix, neither do your emotions with your business. Every challenge we face as a business owner, gives us the opportunity to be a better one. You’ll compromise the growth of your business if you let your emotions make the decisions. If you learn that you’re a natural hot head and there’s just nothing you can do about it, hire someone to consultant and advise you.

3. It can separate you as a leader, not just a boss.

Despite the common misconception, being the boss (let alone your own boss) is the hardest job of all. You have to rely entirely on your customers to grow your business, and once you start employing, you’ll be relying on your team to help support it! If you’re lucky, your endeavors will inspire people to want to be apart of your company whether they’re working for you, or you for them. Part of being a great leader is seeing the bigger picture. Nobody wants a condensing micromanager for a boss, but there are plenty out there. World renown businessman Richard Branson said it best, “Clients do not come first, employees come first. If you take care of your employees, they will take care of your clients.” You’ll feel more passionate about your work when you feel you’re apart of something, that your work matters, and makes a difference. If you make your employees feel like you’re all a team, that’s a start to becoming a great leader. And, leadership skills are necessary within any good CEO.

No matter how you look at it, embracing challenges is something any entrepreneur should do. The struggles in business never stop, but how you face them makes all the difference. You’ll only become wiser and stronger. Stay ahead by applying what you learned. Develop a practical disposition and handle the chaos like a breeze. And, when all the chips fall, you’ll still a leader whom your team wants to follow.

Kevin Gates, entrepreneur and recording artist, acknowledges that there are energies that people possess in society. Each person has their own and Kevin says it is important to protect your own energy. He says he sees energies and that determines whether he continues to pursue an interaction with a person. He has battled with depression and to combat it, he reinforces positive self-affirmation. In an interview, Kevin says “I started trusting my body. I started trusting myself.” He is projecting the product of what happens when you practice self-talk. However, protecting your energy goes way beyond just self-talk. There’re many elements that must be put into effect in order to become the person you want to be and the person you want others to perceive you as.

Here are some key things to remember:

Self-talk

Self-talk is something we all already practice. It’s that little voice inside your head that guides your decisions and judgments. The question of whether it is positive or not is what we are begging. Just examining your perception of yourself in your daily activities is a good place to start. If you find that you constantly whisper pessimistic thoughts into your own ears it’s time to stop because you are enough. Whatever stage you are in in life doesn’t matter because you are always in need of positive thoughts. These thoughts manifest in the way you handle situations that life throws at you and believe it or not also determines what type of energy you attract. Or even if you attract any at all.

The key to self-talk is being optimistic and consistent. You can’t expect your brain to be rewired overnight or even in one week. Practicing these uplifting mantras that you construct for yourself will soon turn in a habit. Practice makes permanent. As Kevin says “We are creatures of habit. Habit becomes a behavior.”

Guarding your energy

Kevin says he reads many books and his household doesn’t watch tv. This shows that Kevin likes to control his and his family’s influences. This is very important when it comes to forming the best you possible. People are always learning. We never stop learning just because we transition from childhood to adulthood. Or even when we’ve been in the same circumstantial situation for who knows how long. A lot of us are more impressionable than we would care to admit. So, from the music that you allow into your ears, the food that you choose to eat, the books that you choose to read, to the television shows that you chose to watch you’re always making choices that influences your thoughts about yourself. Kevin says, “If you knew the consequences behind a choice you made, would you still make that choice?”

Positivity and the company that you keep

Kevin focuses heavily on the company that he choses to keep. Not only does he take energies into account, but he also wants to surround himself with supportive characters. However, this does not necessarily mean he is seeking support for himself, but he is looking to give support and also surrounds himself with those who also gives support to others. This makes a lot of sense when you actually think about it. Kevin now teaches a life and decision-making course and says “You don’t gotta be what people want you to be. You got your own brain.” Stepping outside of the box and being a positive role model for not only his own kids but for others as well is what drives Kevin. He is reinforcing positive behaviors in them from very young ages which is going to be so beneficial for the communities of all walks of life.

Be aware of those you surround yourself with because this can play a significant role in your success. To tell the character of a person, you watch their words, interest, and what they invest their time into. Kevin says, “If I don’t change, I’d be a fool. I’m setting myself up for destruction.” To elevate yourself, you have to be willing to leave behind those who are only draining you of your full potential. In general, if they aren’t adding more good in life than bad, then you are choosing to be held back by this particular person. Kevin says, “Understand that some [people] don’t have the understanding that you have.”

Conclusion

Practicing what you preach to yourself daily will not only present itself in the way you think but ultimately in every aspect of your life. You will find that both your physical and mental health will improve just with the healthier food choices that you make. That will render you being more energized and productive. You being more fruitful ultimately leads to more happiness. True happiness within one’s self because people were made to create. What you will create is up to you, but let’s all start with postivity and happiness.

Sources
Kevin Gates Talks Depression and Positive Energy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr7PH8zEm4M
Kevin Gate Bio: https://www.thefamouspeople.com/profiles/kevin-gates-33000.php
The Power of Positive Self-Talk: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/201605/the-power-positive-self-talk
Understanding and Respect For Self And Others as Explained by Kevin Gates: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFzD-NJHcXs